Studly Dudley: The King of Boo-Dogs

The Biggest Boo in All of Boo-Land

Monday, March 05, 2007

Play the guessing game!

I'm going to make a post soon about my mysterious favourite animal. I'll give you a few hints as to its identity!!

a) They are possibly even lazier and more lethargic than me
b) They look like they are always happy - like me!
c) They have sharp, dangerous claws.. who does that remind you of? Me!
d) Mum thinks they are adorable and boo-tiful too, but not as adorable and boo-tiful as myself
e) BURRRRP.. sorry, that wasn't a real clue but I just had to.
f) Some people think they are scary-looking and truthfully they are potentially dangerous. Like me, with my boo-dog fangs.
g) They sleep.. a LOT. Does that sound familiar??

Put in your guesses, pups!

BURP and Cheerio!

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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Fast life in the slow lane..

So Mum and I have converted over to the new Blogger (yes, yes, it took us long enough but we were REALLY reluctant!). Blogger kinda tricked us into it, those jerks. We're still seeing what the changes are but shh right now I don't know if I like it!! The drag-and-drop function is neat but we think we'll stick with the HTML entry option because strangely Mum says it's easier to use. I don't know what it stands for.. maybe Hot Tasty Meaty Lamb?! In that case, I think she should drag some HTML from the 'fridge and drop it in my mouth. Haha my jokes are always so good!

Wait, that was a joke.. right?
But regardless ..mmm .. Hot Tasty Meaty Lamb sounds pretty good right about now!!
You can see in this photo that I have a physical abnormality. I didn't really ever want to point it out before because frankly I am a little embarrassed, but my right eye is a little wonky! (My right.. your left in the photo) It's my LAZY eye and sometimes when I play tug'o'war really hard, my right eye will jiggle and twirl in its socket while the other left eye stays perfectly still, focused upon the rope I must destroy. The vet says there's nothing wrong with my sight, though.. I can still spot a crumb from a mile away.

So speaking of crumbs.. the other week, Mum was eating a soft, fluffy thing called a "sponge cake." I watched her eat it, and frankly got a little excited. She wouldn't share any with me at first, but when looking upon my pining eyes she just couldn't say no!

Plus she thought she drool bubble was pretty funny too.
So she gave me just the tiniest bit of cake. She knows it's not good for me but we both pretended that it was.. for that brief moment in time. Frankly I don't need any more sugar than what I get in my daily fresh fruit (apparently I am already a bit of an eccentric nutter without all those extra sugary good carbs!) BUT the boo-dog face wins everytime.
..I won't lie, the cake didn't taste like anything and wasn't even that good. BUT if it's good enough for a booman, then it's good enough for a dog.. especially if it seems like that booman really didn't wanna share in the first place.
Witness how I simultaneously wooed and frightened Mum with my tentacles of drool.

This is photo evidence of what living with a jowly dog is like. Slobberies everywhere! First thing in the morning is the worst, because I sleep on the couch with my jowlies flopped all over the cushions. Then I drool a little bit in my sleep and the lint/fluff from the cushions gets imbedded in my drool. Then the drool hardens, encasing the unlucky lint in my sap-like drool.

Then I wipe my jowls on an unsuspecting table and my overnight collection of lint is deposited neatly onto the edges!
My booman family is starting to realize there is a line of linty slobbers lining the walls of our house.. suspiciously right at the height where my head is. I don't know what the correlation could possibly be.

It's a bit belated but I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day!!
I was reading everyone's blogs and it seemed like everypup was getting a special treat from their boomans.. I was feeling stung and a little left out. Valentine's Day came.. and went.. I didn't even really see Mum on Valentine's either because she has class until 10pm, and frankly that is way past my bedtime.
BUT on the weekend, she and the boofriend went to this Vancouver restaurant called Saltlik. Now, as Mum's mind is forever on my handsome face, she got really excited when she saw something on the menu. It said...
Side Dishes:
Baked potato.. 6
Seasonal veggies.. 4
Asparagus.. 7

The take-out box!

A DOG..err, a dog! I'm a dog!! So Mum brought me home a real doggy bag!! I didn't know what to expect when she brought home that big crinkly brown bag but I knew it contained all my stummy's hopes and dreams. I was hoping inside would be someone's leftover prime rib that they didn't want but what I got was even better.. two big raw bones!

I've never had a raw bone before so Mum was very excited to see how I would like it. She put down a towel and put the bone down on it (but me being the nosy bum, I was already sitting on the towel before the bone was there). After some sniffs, I proceeded to devour my delicious treat..

BURRRRRRRRRP what a delicious bone!
This devouring took two hours!! Does it usually take you other BARF eaters that long to eat a recreational bone? These ones weren't really meaty but I liked to just chew and gnaw away all the same, with a contented look on my face. I was very good about keeping it only on the towel but I didn't want to touch it with my feets! I would only use my big jowly jaws, even though it would have been much easier to grip the bone with my paws.
But once this big ol' truck drove past my kitchen window and let out some big HONKS. I got a little spooked but of course I thought, "I must save.. the bone!" So I jumped up, grabbed my bone and ran away. Mum made me bring it back though!

They were really tasty bones but they upset my tummy :( And I have been very, very itchy for the past two weeks so Mum doesn't know if she should keep buying me more bones. She got me another and my tummy felt okay when I ate that one, but I have been licking my paws a lot now and scratching my armpits. Before I would never lick and scratch.. I only do that when my allergies act up. I licked all the fur off one of my paws and now the skin underneath is all raw, so I'm wearing a cone now until it heals.. I have a tendency to keep licking and licking at it even though I'm hurting myself. Oh the things I can get away with when Mum is at school!! (Boodogs have a high pain tolerance so sometimes they are self-destructive/mutilating and they can't tell because they don't feel anything!) I also scratched a big scabby underneath my armpit so Mum is on me every single time I try to scratch it because she doesn't want it to turn into an infected hot spot.

Bottom line: I am such a fragile little boy!

BURP and Cheerio!

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

A day at the bark park

What a horribly long time it has been since I've last blogged! Alas, unlike these birds in the photo I did not get to fly away into the sunny blue yonder. Instead, life has revolved around napping and attempting to get Gramma to ply me with treats. I must say, the former has been much more successful than the latter but that's what happens when you depend on others for happiness!

Luckily as I type this, Mum is satiating my boo-dog-sized hunger with cashew nuts. This allows me to focus better on my blogging because I'm not constantly thinking of eating and thus I bring to you the adventure of the week.. other boo-dogs!

Last week was the monthly Vancouver boo-dog meet-up. Now, I am a little loathe to call these other specimens boo-dogs because that would mean they are every bit as special as me.. however, since I get to eat delicious nuts and they don't, I guess I can be generous. There's handsome ol' me on the left, refusing to fraternize with my fellow breed! I BURRRRPPpp at you!

However, a boo-dog can only resist a good sniff for so long. That we have such short muzzles enables us to really get into the good parts when we go in for the huff! That black doggy (who not a boo.. I can't remember what he was, but he must have felt emasculated next to all the rest of us robust specimens) was very patient with our nasal ministrations.. I'm there in the back, waiting eagerly for my turn!

Soon I met another boo-dog of comparable handsomeness. Frankly he wasn't as big or strong, so I went easy on him as we tussled. It looks as though I'm whispering sweet nothings in his ear (don't worry, Wally, I could never cheat on you!) but actually I'm about to CHOMP on it!

He circles from the left..

He circles from the right..

DUDLEY FTW! OTHER BOODOG FTL! Just kidding, all boo-dogs are winners for the obvious genetic reasons. Notice that I don't ever let Mum get a good photo of this boo's face.. I just can't deal with the competition! He was a good lookin' guy though..

Born freeeeee!! I really like the bark park. I get to run and run and run with other dogs.. or rather, they run and run and run and I try to catch up. I got to play chase-me-chase-you with this tiny girl terrier - she kept teasing me with her frisbee!! I swear I didn't really want it but the way she shook it in front of my face.. how could any dog say no?

The other boo-dogs left quite quickly, which was a bit of a disappointment. It's hard to see boo-dogs anywhere else other than bark parks because we don't really like going for walks (I know that must sound insane to some of you other dogbloggers!). But then I made friends with some other cool dudes there, like this big yellow lab! The angle of the photo makes me look really big next to him but he was actually quite a bit taller (and *ahem* more agile) BUT we both weighed the same!! Mum says I'm such a tank. I'm inclined to agree. She also calls me a heifer but I don't really know what that is.. I assume it's something very masculine and strong!!

[[Mum: *ahem*.. don't tell him..

..that this is what I liken him to!]]

Mmm and finally no day of fun is complete without being handfed cookies! Now, all I need are some hot and sassy pit bulls, airedales and blue heelers to wave palm fronds.. <3 And maybe a corgador, too!
This photo also makes me look very big compared to Mum. That is because I am. Very big. Big big big.

And I realize that Valentine's Day is coming up.. 9 more days! And 2 more weeks until Wally's Burpday.. we share a very special love.

I hope all my boo-tiful girls don't put me in the man house for being a neglectful dog lately :( Rest assured that I think of you every day! I rufff Sunshade because she shows her tolerant and rare maternal side with Jaffa. Although I cannot sire any boo-dales, it's nice to know that if we could share a family together Sunshade would know how to care for our pups! I rufff MJ because, like me, she is a true couch potato but still knows how to rip it up in the bark park. A dog needs some balance. I rufff CKC because she is a patient and gentle lady, and didn't complain once through the whole time her Mum was sick with barkitis. I have a lot to learn from her! And I rufffff Wally because he is such an intellectual.. I'm always learning things from him. Plus, he's got those nice short legs - I can really identify with that!

In short, I hope everyone's Valentine's is full of bones. Hehehehe I am so clever.

BURP and Cheerio!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Oh, the busy life of a boodog!

It has been almost 2 weeks since the last update! :( I haven't been keeping up with my blog.. sigh.. I will go sit in my naughty spot. I know it's extremely crazy, that a handsome and innocent looking boodog such as myself can STILL get sent to the naughty spot by a certain unnameable Mum..
The weather has been nice in Vancouver lately, like today.. it's very warm and sunny!! So Mum and I have been sitting outside in the sun on the balcony reading together (I am an ENGLISH boodog after all and we are quite the literary types). Now, I don't know if you know this considering that boodogs are not the most weather-hardy breeds.. but I LOOOVE to bathe in the sun! I should move to Cali and get some dog goggles like the ones Bogart has. Mum sometimes gets worried that I stay outside on the balcony for so long, sun bathing for hours.. when I come back in I pant up a storm! But I am not a silly pup, I know my tanning limits. I'm trying to achieve a richer brindle coat for the spring.
Anyway I am going back to nap to prepare all my energy for this Sunday. If it's not snowing/blowing/raining, Mum and the boofriend are taking me to Coopers Park for the monthly Vancouver Bulldog Meet-up!! I haven't been to one since I was but a wee pup, so I'm VERY EXCITED! I'll make sure many photos are taken of my sourpuss mug.

..but now, back to sleep I go. And even as I sleep, no one shall be allowed to touch my precious Christmas dong**.

BURP and Cheerio!

**this is a gift I got for Christmas. Mum calls it "the Christmas dong." I am not sure why; she is a silly one!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Snow days in Vancouver!

We've been getting lots of snow in Vancouver lately. So much snow, in fact, that Mum's classes got cancelled one night up at school and she got stuck up on campus! Her school is on top of a mountain so it's hard for busses to get up and down, so it took her two hours to get home. I sure missed her.. me treats! Heehee. She only got home because boo-friend picked her up in his all-wheel drive, gas-guzzling SUV! Other students had to stay on the mountain all night. Mum sure was lucky!!

Speaking of lucky.. I got to go to daycare all day yesterday, from 7am to 7pm. Oh, the life of a spoiled boo-dog. To really tucker me out, Mum took me over to the boo-friend's house today to play in his backyard. His yard is fenced and really, really big.. whereas my yard is not fenced so Mum is scared that I'll run into the street (which I have done before!). So this is me, sitting in the car patiently, waiting to arrive at my secret destination.

Mum's two special boos! I, of course, am the more special of the two. And much handsomer, might I add.

Now, strangely, when I got to the boo-friend's house.. I didn't want to play in the snow! The boo-friend has two shelties named Shilo and Sassy.. boy oh boy I sure like them! They're small, fluffy and bark a lot. They're very fancy. I sat by the door for a long time, waiting for them to come out.. unfortunately I was told that my robustness is not their cup of tea. Not everyone can be as enthusiastic as me.. eventually I just sat in the snow and waited.. and BURRRpped..

I investigated the yard.. sniff sniff.. and found this neat old bench. Being that I am an excellent jumper, I hauled myself on up to sniff around some more! I like it because there wasn't any snow, and I could keep my delicate boo-dog paws dry for a little bit.

I finally realized that I was here to PLAY! So play I did. Here I am, a-gallopin' around. Before I came, the yard was almost completely pristine and untouched! Shilo and Sassy don't stomp around the way I do. But by the time I left, not an inch of snow was left un-mashed by my lovely bum.

Mum and the boo-friend had to throw a few snowballs at me so I could figure out why I was in this big yard..

But I soon caught on! I'm pretty good at catching snow balls.. I'd say I have an accuracy of about, hmm, 55%. Keep in mind that boo-dogs were bred for excessive handsomeness, not agility.

One of my favorite games is chase-me-chase-you.. except I like to be chased! I'll wait in one part of the yard, until Mum comes near me.. then I run away to the opposite side! Mum (the weakling booman that she is) never manages to catch me.. she can only catch me with that flashing box thing.. I say that isn't good enough.

My other favorite thing to do when I'm outside (and inside) is spin on my butt. Here I am, spinning in a pile of yellow snow and making myself smell even nicer and lovelier than usual!

After a few hours, I didn't want to play anymore. I was tuckered out! I didn't want to eat snowballs.. I didn't want to play chase.. I didn't want to do my little tailspin. Yet, the boomans tormented me still by throwing fistfuls of powder at my wrinkly face. I am not amused. They shall suffer later.. when I fart in the car..

And yes, here I am in the car! Nice and warm.. Mum put a cape on me.. boo-friend called it a dress, but don't listen to him. I personally think I look very dashing!!

Anyway.. I am one tired boo-dog. Playing in the snow is fun, but sometimes all a dog wants is to curl up on his sofa and take a pupnap.

BURP and Cheerio!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The New Year's Resolution Game!

I've been tagged by Maggie and Wally! Thanks pups :) Something to keep me entertained.. because Mum is a loser weakling and got sick, and now she doesn't want to play with me. It's okay though because she knew she wasn't feeling well yesterday and shipped me off to daycare so she could have the day to rest and I could play. I've trained her to be somewhat considerate of my feelings. And now we are both tired, except you could never tell that she was sick because she just keeps barking and barking at me! Anyway pups, the game is to list 5 new year's resolutions and then tag 5 more friends.

My 2007 resolutions:

1. Snore less

2. Eat more

3. Fart less.. or more.. I haven't decided yet

4. Maybe learn to pee like a boy

5. Be more romantic to the ladies!

And now I'm tagging Goldie, MJ, C-K-C, Jay and Cubby! Maybe if Cubby plays this game, it'll take his mind off his eye ouchies :( I know how he feels because I've had so many problems with my eyes and I've had to wear that EVIL CONE more than once. Here's hoping the vet can make you feel better, buddy!

BURP and Cheerio!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Happy Howlidays to all my pups!

A big BOOF and hello to all my pals in Dog blog land.. did you miss my mug? I thought it would be funny to stick my tongue out at all of you, but unfortunately the camera was too early (rather than late, for once) to catch the magnificent sight that is my fluffy pink tongue!

There is lots and lots to talk about to cover the last couple of weeks I've been missing out on. I still have many comments to return and lots of howliday wishes to give to everyone.. but first things first.. BRURRRPP.. now second things..

Back in the beginning of December I was overjoyed to receive a letter from my mainland lass, SUNSHADE! THANK YOU, my lovely Airegirl. Oh, how I sniffed and sniffed her card.. but not too hard, I didn't want her beautiful art to fall apart! She and her sweetie pie of a Mum sent me a SIGN to hang on my house, so that everyone knows I AM THE PROTECTOR of the household! Here I am, guarding my atrociously blue house and $13 bags of salt.

Indeed, I will always PAWTECT my Mum. And everyone else in the house. Oh, good news, we are not getting kicked out so we don't need to move anywhere.. kinda sucks.. Mum has to go to school and leave me alone at home, ugh. I thought maybe we could meet a trashy poodle or two if we went on the run!!

Here I am, truly savoring the last of Vancouver's giant snowfall. If I can't eat it, then I'm gonna pee on it. The rest of the lawn was almost entirely bare of snow, but of course I picked the last tiny patch to mark my spot on! My territorial mark should be both aromatic AND visual. I miss you, yellow snow!

Finally, Mum was finished exams so I could get her to MAKE MY XMAS CARDS!! I'm embarrassed she sent them out so late.. please don't look at the postmarkings.. sigh. So of course, I observed all the scrapbooking gear and made sure she toiled all the while. Clearly I am not capable of operating a whip but if I was, I'd sure be one to crack it. HEAR THAT, MUM?? Faster, knave, faster! ..shh.. don't let her see that I said that.. she just got me new biscuits..

Speaking of cookies, my doggy daycare sent me home with a very lovely package from Big Dog, Little Dog!! Miss Sunshade asked if my Mum worked there, because it is close to where we live and Mum made dog cookies for work too.. but alas, no!! A dog could only wish that their booman would bring them home tasty carob treats everyday. It's probably good that mine does not, because on Christmas I ate so many cookies I threw up.
(As a side note, Mum is SUPPOSED to work at a new doggy boutique downtown but that has been somewhat pushed back.. long story.. all I know is that this whole pseudo-working thing made Mum EXTRA WRINKLY this holiday season. I chewed her slippers though to keep her mind off of it.. I am such a good boodog..!)

Anyway, these are the contents of my delicious gift bag!! I know it's hard to see. In this picture there is (from L->R): my soft&floppy yet kissable jowl, a bag of bakery cookies, a SQUEAKY HOT DOG and Mum's Christmas pajamas.

Here are my cookies in all their gloriousness. There were gingerbread and liver cookie squares, a cookie candy cane coated in some pinkish substance (I can only hope it is icing, tinged with the blood of some small animal.. maybe a cat.. or a rhino..), a big flower thing and a giant stocking! They are sealed away to keep in the bakery freshness.. coincidentally that's the same tupperware that I take to daycare with me and Mum fills it with cookies. I should have asked Santa Paws for some bigger tupperware..

Here I am being teased with a giant cookie. I believe this is the canine dictionary definition of the word "unfair." Thus I am making this hideous face.

Mmm, that first cookie was good.. can I have this strangely shaped one next?? Can anyone guess what this is? I wracked my boodog brains.. Mum wracked her feeble booman brains.. and nothin'! Perhaps a deformed paw print?

BE FRIGHTENED, CATS.. this is what Hell will look like for you: THE INSIDE OF MY GIANT MOUTH! Slurrrrp! Down you go.. into the depths of my boodog gullet..

..Oh, and as a side note, I actually have never met a cat before but I have chased a few in my life! I just wanted to sniff 'em.. I swear..

Oh, and this is my very first squeak toy since I was just a puppy. I would never get them when I was growing up because Shilo (Mum's boofriend's Sheltie!) donated a bunch of his to me, and I just chewed them completely apart! Considering that Mum is a broke college kid, she decided that they were not a prudent fiscal choice.. hence, I got indestructable toys. BUT the thing is, pups, I really like toys I can destroy!! And ignore the ones I can't. I have never played with my kong.. nor have I ever played with my new strange lookin' (and also indesctructable) dog toy I got furr Christmas.. I'll show you it later.
Anyway this toy in the photo is a HOT DOG, it SQUEAKS, and I loved it for a whole day until I chewed the squeaky thing out. I wish Justin Timberwolflake could bring squeaky back.

Here I am with my Christmas gifts! However, you will notice that I look more baleful than ever. WHY.. WHY you ask?! Well.. it's because Mum left me home alone almost all day long on Christmas!! I mean, other boomans were home.. but they weren't Mum. THUS..

THIS IS MY CLASSIC LOOK OF PURE RESENTMENT. I scrunch my face up and glare. Mum gets it all the time (but she finds it endearing more than anything else.. what?!). Then again, I am going through my teenage years as a boodog and am entitled to being sassy and melodramatic. Also, I am very upset because NONE OF THESE GIFTS ARE FROM MUM. Yes, that's right - NOTHING from Mum. Well, she did buy me liver cookies but she didn't wrap em or anything.. ugh.. so jealous of all you other dogs in blogland that got warm looking coats and other cool stuff.

All these gifts were from Mum's boofriend. It's nice to see that someone appreciates my charm. Here I am trying to open the first one.. I admit that I had a bit of trouble, but nothing a boodog can't handle.

..especially when all a boodog has to do is look imploringly up at his Mum, and she opens the package for him! Ohhh such charisma we have. I almost cannot stand it.

I have to admit that large, crinkly packages scare me just a wee bit. Especially garbage bags. So this may well have been the gift from Hell.. it was wrapped in shiny, loud paper, which hurt my delicate ears. Once I tricked kindly asked Mum to open it for me, I reeled back when I saw *gasp* the dreaded white plastic bag!! Truly ghastly. I was only comforted when I realized the content was one HUGE buffalo knuckle. Hurrah.. a day of victory for boodogs everywhere!

All my gifts from the boofriend.. lovely, lovely boofriend. Mum says he's just alright sometimes but I quite adore him!! Don't worry, boofriend, you have a pal in me as long as you keep bringing me lovely gifts. That big red toy was the STRANGELY SHAPED INDESTRUCTABLE TOY I was telling you about earlier. When Mum saw it, she had a funny look on her face. I don't know why. Then her boofriend called her a pervy. I still don't get it.

Here I am somewhat posing with my alarmingly tiny cache of Christmas gifts. Please note my look of severe disappointment. Tsk.

A delicious Boxer Day treat.. chewing a rawhide candy cane from Mocha! Mocha doesn't like me, but he got me a toy anyway.. or rather his boomans did. Mocha is a very feisty 5 pound chihuahua.. I'm interested in him and would like to become his friend (I have already endeared myself to his boomans.. they called me gentle! Did you hear that, Mocha? GENTLE.) however I get the feeling if he was maybe 20x the size he is now, he would try to beat me up. :( The woes of being a boodog.

Mum very kindly made a video showing off my prowess at unwrapping gifts. Prepare to be amazed at how effective I am!!


The surface reason I am showing you my booman family is a) because I do indeed love them but more because b) EVIDENCE EVIDENCE EVIDENCE that they had a good time without me! I know - it is all quite freaking insane. On Christmas Day they went to the Vancouver Revolving Restaurant, where Mum tells me of this fantasty lunch they had called a "buffet" where there was endless food. Seriously, she likes to make stuff up to drive me nuts or something. From L->R, it is boofriend, Mum, uncle Tom (yet to find his cabin), a giant oil station of sorts, Grammamama, surrogate Mum, and a strange looking elf.

Ohhh man.. such a long post! I hope you all enjoyed it.. it took 2 hours.. and now I'm EXHAUSTED. Whew.. maybe I'll just curl up here and sleep, dreaming of bootiful MJ..

..and dream of things that make me go BARK in the night!!
Mum loves this video, she's been playing it all night.. what a psycho that lady is sometimes. Listen, boomans.. I know it seems endearing to take videos of your amazing dogs but please do this while we are AWAKE, CONSCIOUS and SOMEWHAT WILLING. Taping us while we sleep is somewhat-to-very creepy. Imagine if you will, boomans, how you would feel if you woke up only to find a blinking camera in your face. Imagine the sheer shock of realizing that someone was recording your most private and inanimate moments. Us boodogs feel that way too. I am now, in addition to insisting that Mums Stay Home on Weekends, boycotting the sleep video.

Happy Howlidays, pups.. I hope your New Years is SAFE! Do not drink champagne.. it makes you fart bubbles..

BURp and Cheerio!