Happy Howlidays to all my pups!
A big BOOF and hello to all my pals in Dog blog land.. did you miss my mug? I thought it would be funny to stick my tongue out at all of you, but unfortunately the camera was too early (rather than late, for once) to catch the magnificent sight that is my fluffy pink tongue!
There is lots and lots to talk about to cover the last couple of weeks I've been missing out on. I still have many comments to return and lots of howliday wishes to give to everyone.. but first things first.. BRURRRPP.. now second things..
Back in the beginning of December I was overjoyed to receive a letter from my mainland lass, SUNSHADE! THANK YOU, my lovely Airegirl. Oh, how I sniffed and sniffed her card.. but not too hard, I didn't want her beautiful art to fall apart! She and her sweetie pie of a Mum sent me a SIGN to hang on my house, so that everyone knows I AM THE PROTECTOR of the household! Here I am, guarding my atrociously blue house and $13 bags of salt.
Indeed, I will always PAWTECT my Mum. And everyone else in the house. Oh, good news, we are not getting kicked out so we don't need to move anywhere.. kinda sucks.. Mum has to go to school and leave me alone at home, ugh. I thought maybe we could meet a trashy poodle or two if we went on the run!!
Here I am, truly savoring the last of Vancouver's giant snowfall. If I can't eat it, then I'm gonna pee on it. The rest of the lawn was almost entirely bare of snow, but of course I picked the last tiny patch to mark my spot on! My territorial mark should be both aromatic AND visual. I miss you, yellow snow!
Finally, Mum was finished exams so I could get her to MAKE MY XMAS CARDS!! I'm embarrassed she sent them out so late.. please don't look at the postmarkings.. sigh. So of course, I observed all the scrapbooking gear and made sure she toiled all the while. Clearly I am not capable of operating a whip but if I was, I'd sure be one to crack it. HEAR THAT, MUM?? Faster, knave, faster! ..shh.. don't let her see that I said that.. she just got me new biscuits..
Speaking of cookies, my doggy daycare sent me home with a very lovely package from Big Dog, Little Dog!! Miss Sunshade asked if my Mum worked there, because it is close to where we live and Mum made dog cookies for work too.. but alas, no!! A dog could only wish that their booman would bring them home tasty carob treats everyday. It's probably good that mine does not, because on Christmas I ate so many cookies I threw up.
(As a side note, Mum is SUPPOSED to work at a new doggy boutique downtown but that has been somewhat pushed back.. long story.. all I know is that this whole pseudo-working thing made Mum EXTRA WRINKLY this holiday season. I chewed her slippers though to keep her mind off of it.. I am such a good boodog..!)
Anyway, these are the contents of my delicious gift bag!! I know it's hard to see. In this picture there is (from L->R): my soft&floppy yet kissable jowl, a bag of bakery cookies, a SQUEAKY HOT DOG and Mum's Christmas pajamas.
Here are my cookies in all their gloriousness. There were gingerbread and liver cookie squares, a cookie candy cane coated in some pinkish substance (I can only hope it is icing, tinged with the blood of some small animal.. maybe a cat.. or a rhino..), a big flower thing and a giant stocking! They are sealed away to keep in the bakery freshness.. coincidentally that's the same tupperware that I take to daycare with me and Mum fills it with cookies. I should have asked Santa Paws for some bigger tupperware..
Here I am being teased with a giant cookie. I believe this is the canine dictionary definition of the word "unfair." Thus I am making this hideous face.
Mmm, that first cookie was good.. can I have this strangely shaped one next?? Can anyone guess what this is? I wracked my boodog brains.. Mum wracked her feeble booman brains.. and nothin'! Perhaps a deformed paw print?
BE FRIGHTENED, CATS.. this is what Hell will look like for you: THE INSIDE OF MY GIANT MOUTH! Slurrrrp! Down you go.. into the depths of my boodog gullet..
..Oh, and as a side note, I actually have never met a cat before but I have chased a few in my life! I just wanted to sniff 'em.. I swear..
Oh, and this is my very first squeak toy since I was just a puppy. I would never get them when I was growing up because Shilo (Mum's boofriend's Sheltie!) donated a bunch of his to me, and I just chewed them completely apart! Considering that Mum is a broke college kid, she decided that they were not a prudent fiscal choice.. hence, I got indestructable toys. BUT the thing is, pups, I really like toys I can destroy!! And ignore the ones I can't. I have never played with my kong.. nor have I ever played with my new strange lookin' (and also indesctructable) dog toy I got furr Christmas.. I'll show you it later.
Anyway this toy in the photo is a HOT DOG, it SQUEAKS, and I loved it for a whole day until I chewed the squeaky thing out. I wish Justin Timberwolflake could bring squeaky back.
Here I am with my Christmas gifts! However, you will notice that I look more baleful than ever. WHY.. WHY you ask?! Well.. it's because Mum left me home alone almost all day long on Christmas!! I mean, other boomans were home.. but they weren't Mum. THUS..
THIS IS MY CLASSIC LOOK OF PURE RESENTMENT. I scrunch my face up and glare. Mum gets it all the time (but she finds it endearing more than anything else.. what?!). Then again, I am going through my teenage years as a boodog and am entitled to being sassy and melodramatic. Also, I am very upset because NONE OF THESE GIFTS ARE FROM MUM. Yes, that's right - NOTHING from Mum. Well, she did buy me liver cookies but she didn't wrap em or anything.. ugh.. so jealous of all you other dogs in blogland that got warm looking coats and other cool stuff.
All these gifts were from Mum's boofriend. It's nice to see that someone appreciates my charm. Here I am trying to open the first one.. I admit that I had a bit of trouble, but nothing a boodog can't handle.
..especially when all a boodog has to do is look imploringly up at his Mum, and she opens the package for him! Ohhh such charisma we have. I almost cannot stand it.
I have to admit that large, crinkly packages scare me just a wee bit. Especially garbage bags. So this may well have been the gift from Hell.. it was wrapped in shiny, loud paper, which hurt my delicate ears. Once I
All my gifts from the boofriend.. lovely, lovely boofriend. Mum says he's just alright sometimes but I quite adore him!! Don't worry, boofriend, you have a pal in me as long as you keep bringing me lovely gifts. That big red toy was the STRANGELY SHAPED INDESTRUCTABLE TOY I was telling you about earlier. When Mum saw it, she had a funny look on her face. I don't know why. Then her boofriend called her a pervy. I still don't get it.
Here I am somewhat posing with my alarmingly tiny cache of Christmas gifts. Please note my look of severe disappointment. Tsk.
A delicious Boxer Day treat.. chewing a rawhide candy cane from Mocha! Mocha doesn't like me, but he got me a toy anyway.. or rather his boomans did. Mocha is a very feisty 5 pound chihuahua.. I'm interested in him and would like to become his friend (I have already endeared myself to his boomans.. they called me gentle! Did you hear that, Mocha? GENTLE.) however I get the feeling if he was maybe 20x the size he is now, he would try to beat me up. :( The woes of being a boodog.
Mum very kindly made a video showing off my prowess at unwrapping gifts. Prepare to be amazed at how effective I am!!
PHOTO EVIDENCE THAT I WAS LEFT HOME ALONE ON CHRISTMAS..
The surface reason I am showing you my booman family is a) because I do indeed love them but more because b) EVIDENCE EVIDENCE EVIDENCE that they had a good time without me! I know - it is all quite freaking insane. On Christmas Day they went to the Vancouver Revolving Restaurant, where Mum tells me of this fantasty lunch they had called a "buffet" where there was endless food. Seriously, she likes to make stuff up to drive me nuts or something. From L->R, it is boofriend, Mum, uncle Tom (yet to find his cabin), a giant oil station of sorts, Grammamama, surrogate Mum, and a strange looking elf.
Ohhh man.. such a long post! I hope you all enjoyed it.. it took 2 hours.. and now I'm EXHAUSTED. Whew.. maybe I'll just curl up here and sleep, dreaming of bootiful MJ..
..and dream of things that make me go BARK in the night!!
Mum loves this video, she's been playing it all night.. what a psycho that lady is sometimes. Listen, boomans.. I know it seems endearing to take videos of your amazing dogs but please do this while we are AWAKE, CONSCIOUS and SOMEWHAT WILLING. Taping us while we sleep is somewhat-to-very creepy. Imagine if you will, boomans, how you would feel if you woke up only to find a blinking camera in your face. Imagine the sheer shock of realizing that someone was recording your most private and inanimate moments. Us boodogs feel that way too. I am now, in addition to insisting that Mums Stay Home on Weekends, boycotting the sleep video.
Happy Howlidays, pups.. I hope your New Years is SAFE! Do not drink champagne.. it makes you fart bubbles..
BURp and Cheerio!