Dudley is ONLINE!

I gotta say, kids.. they say that bulldogs (or as Mum likes to call them, "boo-dogs") are LAZY but I think Mum is the laziest of all! She claims she loves me but frankly if it took her this long to get with the program and get me a dogblog then I've got my doubts. I don't deny that I'm also a little lazy.. and a little slow.. and I like to fart a lot.. but I am a TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY (boo)dog! Therefore, all 70 pounds of me wants to be on top of things..

Now, chaps, that doesn't mean that I wear argyle sweaters (they would clash with my brindle tiger stripes, you know) and doggy boots, nor do I have a fancy studded collar and eat cat pate five times a day. No, I'm a modern dog by heart and by nature! I like to settle down and chew on a good book.. swirl some fine pill bugs between my jowls (July was a good month).. watch some BBC with Mum. Mum says I should try to get in touch with my English roots, and luckily her other boo-friend agrees because he bought the British version of "The Office" on DVD for me to watch! I think it's working because everyone says my bark has taken on a bit of an accent..

Burp.. I'm tired now.. my paws are too short - they just barely reach the laptop and my bone belly gets in the way so that doesn't help either. Plus, Mum put this big plastic collar around my head so I can't keep licking my paws.. she calls it a cone, but I don't know why she would. Cones are usually crunchy and full of sweet creamy goodness.. mm.. but this cone isn't tasty at all. I know, because I've chewed on it! I don't understand why she does this to me.. because first of all, I hate the cone, and second of all, my paws are absolutely delectable. Just let me lick them!
I think because of this unrefined and UNFAIR treatment, when Mum and I sleep together tonight I will let out some really silent but deadly ones under the blankets..


Just so you know how cute and composed I am, even with a plastic cone around my neck. See, I even help out with writing late night papers, but I get this uncivilized "reward" in return! Hmmph.. it's a good thing I have this blog to ease my indignancy.

Anyway, I'm really excited about this new dogblog. I'd like to meet some REFINED canines.. we can taste-test different months of bugs together and roll in dirt. Please leave me a comment and let me know who's been by to sniff my boo-blog 'cuz I'd love to sniff you back!

BURP and Cheerio!
Dudley